Harmony did her own hair today, with some coaching of course, but she did it!

Here's how it went!

Pep Talk: "You're washing your own hair today and I need you to get mentally prepared for what you're about to do. I don't want any attitude, you are 13 and it's time for you to start working with your own hair. You can do this I understand that you may not WANT to but you are capable, ok?" 

Game Time 9:00 am

Prep Instructions:

1. Take your hair down
2. Give yourself two parts
3. One in the center front to back
4. One one across the top of your head. From the top of one ear to the top of the other ear. 
5. You should have four equal sections (I did tidy them up for her so they were even, each section should be relatively the same size.)
6. Comb out each section with a pick one at a time
7. Put each section into a twist/bun (I made sure the buns were done so they wouldn't come undone until she was ready)

Shampoo + Condition

(I feel like we've all made this face)

1. Start in the back left section > because its the hardest for you to reach
2. Get your hair wet, don't worry about not getting the other sections wet
3. Get a pump of shampoo, lather it up in your hands put the lather on your scalp. ( We ended up using two pumps of shampoo AG's ACV Balance Shampoo for each section)
4. Scrub your scalp
5. Pull the suds through the ends
6. Use your fingers to pull the hair apart and finger detangle
7. Rinse 
8. Apply your conditioner to the same section (4-5 pumps per section - AG's ACV Boost Conditioner)
9. Begin on the ends
10. Use both hands to squeeze it through
    
11. Finger detangle starting from the bottom
12. Use your comb starting from the bottom
13. Switch hands with your comb so you do the other side as well
14. Put this section into two twists (do not rinse yet)
15. Be sure to keep the hair combed out as you twist it down
16. Repeat on the remaining 3 sections
17. Do not take the twists out
18. Rinse conditioner from all twists (there should be 8) by standing under water and squeezing the twists 
19. Towel dry twists

Blow Dry 

1. Start with the back left section
2. Take down one of the two twists ( "subsection" ) Each section now has two sub-sectioned twists.
3. Clip the others out of the way
4. Comb out the first subsection 
5. Apply your heat protectant (I poured for her) We use Loma Nourishing Treatment Oil
6. Comb it through
7. Blow dry the same way you use the wide tooth comb.
8. Put the section in a two strand twist once dry 
9. Repeat on the second sub-section
10. Complete the back right section before moving to the front sections (get the hardest part done first)

Half Time 10:30

She decided she wanted to have her double buns with twisted bangs this time. Fashion freedom is very important in our house so she gets to decide her style. I make suggestions but Im her stylist too so I generally do what I'm asked. I don't use a bunch of edge control and all that on her. I  will use some foam to get her bangs to shrink up some. But I just use a bristled brush to put her hair back. She knows how to use a scarf and a brush to keep her edges reasonable. 

 The reason I blow dry her hair is to stretch it out and smooth the cuticle down. Harmony's hair is long, thick and like 85% shrinkage. At every bend there is an opening for moisture to escape. So to keep it from becoming dehydrated and fragile I stretch it out and put it up.

She'll wear this style for two weeks and then we'll take it down and repeat the process. She likes to wear her own buns or sometimes she throws her puffs on. I twisted her bangs down for time sake, but I told her she is responsible for the bangs. There is no reason she can't do them.

I know that the more she practices the more confident she will be. Her dad let her practice on him too LMAO. I think doing my hair makes her nervous but with him it's just for play. 

As a child it isn't just the things that she hears said about her hair that influence her, it's also the personal experiences she has with her hair. She needs to have more wins than losses and she needs to feel like she earned those wins. Today she really earned it. But daily wins like fixing up her own bangs help build her up too.

Because her hair is so long, tight and thick it is a lot for her to deal with on her own. She does not like having her hair done, that's normal and now she doesn't like having to do it, also normal. She is a tender headed child with a lot of tightly curled hair. It wasn't a realistic expectation for her to be doing her own hair before now. I think this is something we need to consider when we are thinking about what's "normal" for children as they grow and develop. This is HER normal and she is feeling really confident about handling her own hair. So effing proud right now!