Skin and hair care is a luxury business. Period. Not everyone can afford to go to the salon. I know this, but I also know as a professional I provide much more than just physical products and services. I examine my client's lives before making suggestions so they have regimes that fit their REAL lives including their budgets and schedules.
So what do you think of when you hear the phrase "self care"? What do you mean when you say it? Maybe that's a better question.
- Is self care something special that you do for yourself on a rare occasion or is a part of your lifestyle?
- What type of activities does it consist of?
- How do you know if you're doing it right?
- How much should you be spending?
In this article we are going to talk about all of those things and I'm going to share my take on it and how I do it.
First let's get a solid definition for the phrase "self care"
Self-care has been defined as the process of establishing behaviors to ensure holistic well-being of oneself, to promote health, and actively manage illness when it occurs. Individuals engage in some form of self-care daily with food choices, exercise, sleep, and hygiene. - Wikipedia
In short self care is just adulting effectively. I personally think the definition should focus on preventing illness instead of treating it after the fact but that is a different topic for a different article.
Let's examine closer
- Establish behaviors
- Ask for help when you need it
- Say no
- Giving yourself enough time to complete tasks
- Complete a monthly budget
- Wash your hair regularly
- Ensure...oneself
- Establish and maintain healthy boundaries
- check in with self
- Reflect on feedback objectively
- Be honest with self
- Promote Health
- Mental/Emotional
- Physical
- Spiritual/Emotional
- Financial
- Actively Manage
- This NEVER stops....just like adulting.
Well that's not very sexy 🤔. Self care is supposed to be bath bombs, brunch with the girls, shopping bags and #treatyoself!
Well actually no. Self care is a full time job and if more people cared for themselves properly they would have a lot less time for the non sense that keeps them distracted. You ever notice how those images are always sunny? LMAO Yea let me remind you I'm from the PNW and if you don't manage you the weather will. Seasonal depression is a real thing.
Sidenote: I watched this video about why not to move to WA and one of the things was the people are "unfriendly". 🫣🤣🫶🏾🤷🏾♀️
You see self care is setting a goal for yourself and protecting it from those who honestly don't have the capacity to care or understand why it's important to you. If you live in WA going outside once a day in late January is a legit goal. If you are a stay at home parent with a partner or a work from home person it is easy to just not leave the house....for days . This leads to not washing your hair on schedule and the "big chop cycle" as I like to call it. But stick a pin in that, I'll come back.
Self care has no price tag and is so simple that it was bound to get misconstrued and marketed as something else.
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Self care is not uniform, there is no one way to do it the only real rule is mind your business and do you the best way you can.
Self care for Ms. Ehrin looks like:
- Twists and a scarf for a cute and consistent look
- A paper planner to keep my brain in
- A budget for financial peace of mind
- This Blog as an outlet
- Massage as an outlet
- Positioning my business to attract my ideal client
- A THOROUGH consultation for clarity and realistic expectations
- Online only scheduling for work life balance
- Email only communication for buffer time on a response
For me, self care focuses on moving slower and with clearer intention. Evaluating the sustainability of my decisions before I make them. So no, impulse shopping doesn't excite me. It actually gives me a lot of anxiety. Like why do I just want to go spend my hard earned dollars on something random?
I do nice things for myself regularly, it's built into my schedule as well as into my budget like scheduling a date with my BFF once a month.
"Treat yo self" self care culture is a problem on so many levels especially a financial one. This type of mindset is why people are feeling like the natural hair movement failed. They got caught up thinking a product was the answer and the product companies were there to meet you and your money😈. People are legit addicted to a cycle of struggle and self sabotage and these companies are utilizing your trauma and ignorance to keep you in the big chop cycle 😵💫.
Chop it off, WAG for a while, buy new products🤑, try this style, try that style + get new products🤑, live in a bun, live in braids, length check with a silk press on the side, get new products🤑, get bored, try something else random, oh shit heat damage, get new products 🤑, chop it off, rinse and repeat.
There is no patience here. You are not caring for yourself or your hair, you're just interested in a cute style for the moment. You are moving too fast doing too much. Your habits don't support what you say you want. Eat some fruits and vegetables, drink some water, read a book, get your thyroid checked, check your boobs and mind your business. A watched pot never boils and stress will keep your hair from growing, matter of fact it will have it falling out so yes minding your business is self care too LMAO. 😈
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Sidenote:I have a client who every few years cuts all of her hair off, it is planned and intentional. That is NOT what I'm talking about. For her this is part of her self care cycle it's not done randomly out of frustration or boredom. The first time she asked me to do it I sat down and we had a discussion about if she was ok or not. Not because her hair was long, she wears it short but because I am so sensitive to this big chop cycle.
Self care like all things exists on a spectrum and is about what you value as an individual. Self care can absolutely include paying for services and buying new clothes, when you need them. But it can also be a simple goal of going outside once a day in late January, or committing to a regime, within your budget for a specific amount of time before making changes.
Commit to asking yourself to dig deeper when you get antsy with your hair. What else is going on? 🫣 Does the thought of that make your heart speed up a bit? That's your sign babe.😉
It is up to every adult to decide how to care for themselves mentally, physically spiritually and financially. At its most basic form self care is just adulting and is as simple as what it says caring for self. This is your first responsibility as an adult.👩🏾🎓
Thank you for reading this article 🥰
Try these books:
Atomic Habits by James Clear
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.
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Oh So Paper Co.