Self care is defined as the process of establishing behaviors to ensure holistic well-being of oneself, to promote health, and actively manage illness when it occurs.
The PNW marches to the beat of it's own drum. It's the home of Amazon & Microsoft as well as a hub for corporate techy America. Most famous for birthing the grunge era it isn't the most glamorous place but it is pretty chill by comparison to the rest of the country. All that being said self care in the PNW will have it's own flavor as well. We deal with environmental factors here that you don't in other parts of the country like 9 months of grey skies. This is one of the most expensive places in the nation to live and we socialize differently too, being notoriously "unfriendly" in this region.
I say all that to make the point that your self care habits will be just as unique to you as to where you live. We are on the West Coast but this ain't SOCAL and it's ok to not be super sunny all the damn time. Like it's grey out ok. I don't feel like smiling.
When I started to focus on curly hair it became increasingly obvious that my understanding of things was not the understanding of the consumer masses. Most of my clients wanted products (it was like a crack epidemic) but what they needed was a simple routine (rehab). The products they were using were fine, they didn't know how to use them. They didn't even know what they wanted the products to do for God sake. They just squeezed shit out of bottles and expected ringlets to appear. I was also expected to work water into wine miracles.
This was extremely difficult for me because my clients were having this very emotional experience that I could not and honestly did not want to relate to. I was lost at the mindset. Once I began to slow down and listen I was able to really hear them and offer better advice on how to use the products clients already had at home.
But there was still something bothering my soul. The money. The amount of money people were spending on products was disgusting to me. Seriously it was disturbing to watch women hoarding hair products then the way they do Stanley cups now. I encouraged them to use what they had at home. I simply explained HOW to manipulate the product and the hair so they got their desired end result.
I began to realize that the "natural hair movement" wasn't about the hair at all. It was about finding a loss sense of self. Not something you can buy. It is something you must earn, a right of passage and only you know when you've arrived. Part of this human experience is defining yourself through your esthetic. Your appearance. When you literally don't know a big part of yourself like your hair that can generate feelings of insecurity causing you to spend ridiculous amounts of money on futile solutions. Next thing you know you've hopped out of your financial lane and now you're stressed because not only did you spend the money but the shit didn't even work!
Self care is something foreign to many of us, something that riddles us with guilt and we find hard to do. I am NOT a therapist or mental health professional however I have been working with and observing the habits of you humans for 20 years now and while being wrong is not impossible it is infrequent.
Why is it so hard for us to mind our own business?
Why do we prioritize others' emergencies, but procrastinate on our own priorities?
Real self care is not all luxury services and products. It has very little to do with bath bombs, brunch or retail therapy. As a matter of fact if you are spending money on things you cannot afford that is actually self sabotage. Part of the reason we are so foreign to self care is because we live in a right now world with little to no focussed intention. Self care includes staying in your financial lane which will lead to less chronic stress and therefore a happier healthier life.
Having this money conviction and trying to build a business to feed myself was hell. But I'm happy that I chose the ethical side of things.
Teaching self care to my clients takes the pressure off of them and me. I make them think about how they want to look instead of feeding into how they "should" look. This broadens their scope of vision to see the entire picture thus allowing them to exercise more creative freedom with their image and personal style. It allows this seemingly daunting task to be fun and exciting. Your hair should appeal to you first along with the rest of your look. If looking good for you isn't your goal then you've already failed.
"You got to be the shit to you" - Katt Williams
What I teach here at "self care school" is just basic adulting really, then I make it relatable through your hair and skin habits. We focus on physical, mental, financial and social self care. These areas tend to overlap a lot and cause more stress than necessary. But the confidence and the peace that comes when you make a few small sustainable habit adjustments is amazing.
As you move through the material here on my little piece of the web please share your thoughts and experiences respectfully. Let me know if there is something you are interested in or have questions about. While I am a licensed financial professional in addition to my personal service licenses, I am not a licensed mental health professional as I stated before. Take my advice with a grain of salt.
The best advice anyone ever gave me was "keep it simple". My goal with PNW Self Care School is to educate you and the rest of my curlfriends on just how simple adulting can be once you have the correct tools and know how to use them. Whether it's your hair or your budget doing the adulty things isn't fun for anyone but the benefits of increased confidence and peace far outweigh the lack of whimsy.